It is now over a decade ago since I first drove a car with Park Assist. It was a fairly simple concept that demanded a small amount of driver involvement but it could park the vehicle both in parallel and perpendicular positions. While I was impressed by it overall, my greatest fear was that, were I to specify such a facility on a personal vehicle, I would probably end up parking the car upright in a chosen slot, which would be neither a good look, nor job defining.

My current motorcar (a Suzuki Baleno) was apparently at the ‘cutting-edge’ of automotive technology, when it was new 20 months ago. While it does fall into a classification of ‘affordable motoring’, it incorporates the EU-standard TPMS (for monitoring tyre pressures), ABS (antilock brakes) and TCS (grip and stability control) that form a bare bones minimum for ALL new cars. Of course, it also has a selection of airbags and crash beams around the car for occupant protection (in the event of a smash).

However, its technological bag-of-tricks continues with autonomous braking, by which a radar sensor located behind the front grille’s ‘S’ logo determines the distance of my car (which is adjustable through three predetermined settings) behind the vehicle, or obstacle, ahead, sounds and flashes a driver warning and, if no action is assumed, applies the car’s brakes automatically to draw it to a grinding halt. The car utilises this same technology for its distance cruise control, which (annoyingly) illuminates the brake-lights, as speed is reduced behind slower vehicles.

While the default settings are always ‘on’, it is fortunate that they can be switched off. However, the latest Suzuki Swift moves the game on by incorporating lane discipline, by which the driver’s knuckles get ‘rapped’, should the car deviate from the lane in which it should be travelling. There is an audible warning and the steering wheel tugs at the driver’s fingers, which is intensely worrying, when carrying out overtakes, or straightening-out bends, when visibility permits. Yet, the auto-on headlamps and wipers, as well as the rear-view colour camera are practical.

Look, I am not keen on nannying electronic road signs that flash-up my speed and thank me for being at, or below, the posted speed limits, but these driver ‘aids’, or ‘assist’ systems, fitted to new cars are every bit as intrusive. Invest in a Volvo and you can welcome (or not) blind-spot warnings, which are admittedly useful, chassis vectoring that limits enthusiastic cornering, anti-ditch-visiting systems (useful in Sweden), elk avoidance technology (also useful in Scandinavian countries) and rear crash mitigation that warns you of what might crash into the back of your vehicle. Of course, NCap star ratings for vehicle safety place demands on carmakers to incorporate at least two ‘driver assist’ systems in new models and it is a growing list.

In research carried out by a major UK dealership chain, a list was formulated to highlight the percentage of new car owners, who simply cannot and are unlikely ever to use the following technology:

Self-parking – 61 per cent

Screens in the back seats – 58 per cent

Lane keep assist – 58 per cent

Seat memory settings – 57 per cent

Sports mode – 54 per cent

Adaptive cruise control – 51 per cent

Motorway speed alerts – 51 per cent

Automatic braking – 49 per cent

Phone functions operated via voice control – 48 per cent

Multi-media device connectivity – 46 per cent

Traffic information – 43 per cent

Cruise control – 42 per cent

Electric sunroof – 39 per cent

Climate control – 39 per cent

Reversing cameras/sensors – 38 per cent

Heated seats – 36 per cent

Automatic headlights – 33 per cent

Sat nav – 32 per cent

Bluetooth – 28 per cent

Automated windscreen wipers – 23 per cent

Digital radio – 15 per cent

For what it is worth, a girlfriend of mine, who owns a Suzuki Swift, can be on her hands-free mobile, while driving, and on several occasions I have heard in the background the distance alert buzzing away merrily. When I have suggested that travelling TOO close to the vehicle in front might have unfortunate ramifications for her, she informs me that the system is clearly ‘broken’. Unfortunately, I have witnessed her driving style, which is both unnecessarily fast in some instances and, like a lot of drivers, she relies on last-minute-braking, upon arrival at junctions, or obstacles to her progress…she just cannot get her head around ‘distance alerts’.

For a surprising number of drivers, the latest technological advancements are little more than one, or more, steps too far for them. As a professional hopping from one car to the next on a regular basis, even I have to admit to throwing-in the towel on occasions, not least when attempting to pair-up my mobilephone unsuccessfully with a vehicle’s connectivity, or when attempting to decipher one carmaker’s application of the systems and then its version of operational efficacy.

If anything, there is a need for greater standardisation. While driving the most recently launched Mitsubishi Shogun Sport, its indicator stalk is (annoyingly) on the right-hand side of the steering column, as opposed to the more normal left side, which led to windscreen washes, when a headlight ‘flash’ was required, and high-speed screen-wiping, when making an overtaking manoeuvre. For safety’s sake, a car’s primary switchgear should be in the same place, from one make and model to the next, just as we no longer have centrally-located throttle pedals. It would also help immeasurably, if manufacturers used their innate abilities to fit increasingly larger information touch-screens in cars, accompanied by useful and legible snippets from the operational elements of the Owner’s Manual. After all, they must be aware that the vast majority of us no longer possesses the ability to read things located within the darkest recesses of the glovebox, even if there is space for it!